Dogs Don't Wear Pants

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Finland/Latvia | 2019 | Directed by J.-P. Valkeapää

Logline: A father, emotionally barren following the death of his wife, finds his dangerous new sexual predilection fueled by his involvement with a dominatrix.

Juha (Pekka Strang) has a young daughter. She is sobbing uncontrollably in his room as he slumbers. His dream fractures as he realises what is happening. His wife is drowning in the adjacent lake. He dives into the dark depths, but he is too late. The coldness embraces his heart, engulfs his love, and smothers his dreams. And now, years later, with his daugher Elli (Ilona Huhta), a teenager, he hasn’t been able to move on from the tragedy, instead he has formed a fixation with asphyxiation, a dangerous form of self-medication tied to his lonely sexual desire. 

When Elli goes to get her tongue pierced Juha accompanies her, but he is shooed away by the piercer whilst the deed is being done. Downstairs in a dimly lit room he discovers a gimp in front of a wall mirror. It’s a professional dungeon, and the in-house dominatrix, Mona (Krista Kosonen), reprimands his curiosity in brutal fashion. Juha leaves with a sweet taste in his mouth. 

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In one of the most original movies in recent years, Dogs Don’t Wear Pants, is a singular portrait of loneliness and joy intertwined in a most complex way. It is an elusive romance that operates like an even more elusive thriller. But it doesn’t reward like a thriller, and it barely rewards as a romance, but it’s one of the best dramas of the year. Imagine David Lynch and Atom Egoyan made a movie together. 

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The title refers to the “bad dog” role played by the submissive in BDSM activity. Juha laps it up (excuse the pun), whilst Mona, a professional, finds her own sensibilities being tested. She is searching for something too, and Juha’s combined resilience and frailty is pushing buttons she didn’t know she had. She’s used to playing tough, but Juha wants it tougher. Will there be any kind of emotional rescue? 

Stunning work from cinematographer Pietari Peltola, the movie is shrouded in a tenebrous neo-noir atmosphere. The underwater photography alone is beautiful. Superb performances from the two leads, and a terrific soundtrack – incidental score and sourced club music – gives the movie an even sharper edge. 

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Dogs Don’t Wear Pants is not for everyone – and be warned there is an especially ghastly scene involving a pair of pliers - but for those prepared to take Juha and Mona’s journey, it’s ending will make you smile. Hell, you might even snigger from time to time. Considering the intensity of their professional relationship you can be rest assured their relating in the real world will be hunky dory.

 

Dogs Don’t Wear Pants is screening as part of Australia’s Monster Fest, Saturday, 2nd November, 10pm in Sydney, Canberra, Adelaide, Brisbane, and Perth. Click here for venue details and the full Monster Fest program.